AutoShop Ministries Episode 4 - Iron Sharpens Iron: The Power of Friction in Business

It is Joe Adams with Adams Automotive, the number one shop in America. This is Master Tech to Millionaire presented by Auto Shop Answers, where we talk about the transition from technician to business owner CEO. This is going to be episode three of our Auto Shop Ministries series with Pastor Devontae Tidwell. So Devontae, how are you doing today? I'm doing well, man. It's good to see you. Good to see you again. Ready to get into it this week for all of the people out there and grateful that everybody tuned in to the last couple and I hope that we're saying something to keep bringing them back. You know what I mean? So I'm ready to go. Yeah, yeah. And we had your first live service at our Kiki event in June. And the feedback was really great. I think a lot of people got some help there. So man, looking forward to seeing what that turns into. Me too, man. I'm honored. I'm always honored to be a part of the family as the

resident chaplain here. Yeah, that's right. Alright, so what's the lesson today? We're learning about business. For learning about Jesus? What's the lesson today? Man, so I wanted to get into partnerships because so much of life is, we're tribal by nature, right? We are built to be in communities. We're not built to do this alone. So I wanted to get into today talking about a little bit about partnerships, right? And what better way to discuss those than to look at the people on our left and our right and say, man, are we aligned properly? Not just with vision, You know, because I think in business, a lot of times you hear, are you aligned? Are we going the same way? You know, because I believe that leadership is taking people from one place to another for a cause that's greater than themselves. That's the best way that I would define it. And in business all the time, you know, as we all are in business and,

you know, and some people are trying to get to that point or at least work for one, you hear, oh man, are we aligned with the vision? Are we aligned with the mission? Are we going the same direction? But man, who you're doing it with is just as important as what it is that you're doing. And I would argue in most cases, actually more like who you're doing this with is as much, if not more important. So I want to ask a question as and it kind of serves as the title of today's talk. It's like, who are you here with? Who are you here with? And I want to open up with scripture from Proverbs chapter number 27, 17. It says this, the right partner produces. I'm sorry. It says iron sharpens iron as one man sharpens another. And I want to get this antidote under it right here. I wrote this. It says the right partner produces friction that improves you. The right partner produces friction that improves you. Proverbs 27 says iron sharpens iron, right? That's iron. That's two,

that's two pieces of metal. We, in this industry, we know what iron is, right? But like, if you write two pieces of iron together, it actually causes friction, it sharpens. And there's a level of friction that you can have in a partnership and in a relationship that actually pushes you. Like, I think people hear friction and automatically think negative, Right. They're like, oh, well, I got friction with this person. It's like, no, I actually enjoy having friction with you, Joe. I really do, bro. It makes me a better man. It makes me a better friend. I want to say, hey, no, I didn't like that idea or no. Did you like that idea? And let's push back until we get to the best idea for both of us, because it's not just my way or your way or my thought or your thought. But when you have the right person, you know, it says one man sharpens another. This is talking about the people around you that are pushing you to be better.

I think, you know, leadership is very easy to surround yourself with people who are always going to agree that are yes, man, that are yes, women, that are, hey, yes, no, we're going to do it right away versus pushing back. So, man, is that the best way? Is it the most effective way? Is it the right time for this thing? It's a great idea, but is it a now idea, right? Like, I think when you have those people in your life, it helps you to be the ultimate best version of yourself because a lot of people honestly don't like to be uncomfortable, right? They don't like to be in relationships where there's that friction. They don't like confrontation. They don't like disagreements. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Does that make sense? Yeah. So you're saying who you surround yourself with is kind of where you're going. And oftentimes, you know, the easy thing to do is to party and go gambling and drinking and kind of surround yourself with,

excuse my language, but a bunch of losers and then it's like, you know, your life kind of might look like that but if you surround yourself with a bunch of winners, people are going to. Serve others and sacrifice their time and energy and be in the gym and, take care of their families like yep that might not be the easy thing but that's probably what your life looks like it's like uh show me your friends i'll show you your future is that kind of what you're getting 100 100 100 because the people around you um can make or break where you're headed, you know it's very easy i mean how many times do we see athletes and stuff that are like man you're making millions and millions of dollars generation of wealth but you couldn't leave that friend group and now you've gotten involved with that friend group. And unfortunately you've gotten yourself tied up into some things that money can't fix anymore. You know, that the influence can't fix anymore, that the, the basketball court

or the football field or the baseball diamond can't fix for you anymore because you didn't let go of those connections. Same thing. Even if we're talking about sports, even managers and agents. And it's like, man, like so, so many opportunities that you had where, you know, people could have been putting you in a position to help you move forward, but instead they actually drained you and set you back again. It is a show me your friends and I'll show you a future kind of thing. You know, um, I said this, that like when you're insecure, you're better than that. The phrase, Hey man, you're better than that. Or, Hey man, there's more in you than that. If you're insecure in your leadership, that feels like an attack. Um. But if you are secure and you have a growth oriented mindset, that feels like an opportunity. Like, hey, man, you know, I've seen more in you than that. Really? Where? Tell me. Tell me where. What can I do? How can I implement that?

When did you see it? What was I doing? What did I have for breakfast that morning? How many M&Ms did I have before the meeting? You know what I mean? Like what what was I doing to to spark that version that you were able to see and then hold me accountable to? Because it's very weird bro when we go to a space and we have people who have gone to like a level 10 and you did this this way one time, and then now we don't have anybody around you to hold you to that standard to hold you to that that place i think our community matters is what i'm trying to get at it it's you know, it's important to know that who we walk with is just as important as where we're walking to, Who we're doing this journey with is just as important as the destination. Success may be the destination, but who's going with you there? Who's on your left and on your right that says, man, I can't wait till we get to the we made it moment.

I can't wait till we say, man, like the blood, the sweat, the tears, it was worth it. The friction as we were sharpening one another was worth it. The arguments when we're sitting there and fighting like dogs behind the scenes, but smiling and stuff when we get out of that meeting room was worth it. You know, because I think the right people lift you up and they take you higher and they take you further and they don't let you go out and party and gamble and drink and squander all the things that you were building and that you're a part of. The right community says, hey, you have something to protect. You have a name that means something. You have a family to go back to. You have a future that you've been trying to set up. Man, remember when we were sitting in the car taking that long ride and you were telling me about all the dreams? You're like, man, I want to take my wife here and I want to be able

to buy a ranch there. and one. Hey, remember that? Remember that plan? Good friends are the ones that say, hey, let's come back to our North Star. Like our North Star is that plan. The best version of yourself, the future, the one that God has in mind, the one that he's created you to be. Like, you know, it's like that commercial. Remember the commercial? Like, hey, are you hungry? Grab a Snickers. I feel like good friends are like that where they can say, hey, bro, hey, you're hungry, man. Or hey, you're tired. Like, do you need, you need something to eat? That's funny. So what I hear you saying is like, I've always thought, I've heard that verse, you know, as iron sharpens iron, you know, one man sharpens another, but I've never really focused on the sharpening part. Isn't like a painless thing. It's like you're, there is some friction there and there is some pruning almost. And you know, there's always a cost, you know, there's a cost,

there's a price to pay for being, the type of person who's different than you are now and going uh the places you want to go and so whether that's we're waking up at four o'clock in the morning to go on a you know to go to the gym before work or uh like that's painful you know you're getting sharpened and so you have to if you're with uh four other people that are also doing that you know like there is a sharpening there so that makes sense so so what would you say to um. Somebody who's like stepping into a new career or they're they're growing in their career and they still kind of got some friends that are not sharpening them, but they want to be in a different room. You know, does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That's a great question. I think the first thing is don't just go out and cut everybody off right away because then you'll be lonely and then you have a whole other, you'll have to come back for another week when we talk about that one, you know? Right.

But I think don't go cut everybody off right away because I do believe that there are people in your life that, you know, all iron isn't built the same. You know, if we're talking about the sake of the imagery from the scripture. All iron isn't built the same. We're not all one, you know, solid piece that's three inches wide by two feet long. You know, all of us are different. Well, you may be the iron to start the friction, but you do need to go and find some people who are a little bit further and a little bit sharper than you already. You know, I believe that like in our community, we need to have three levels. Okay. We need to have a level of a person above us. Right. And I think we've might've mentioned this before, but if not, I want to reiterate, we need a person above of us, like mentorship type of situation, leader situation, somebody I can submit, bounce ideas off of further down the road.

Hey, you've been married longer than I have. Hey, you've been a dad. You've been a granddad. Hey, you've been a business owner. You've been a leader. You started something and you have a vision. Help me with this. You need your peers, the people on your left and the right, because there's eventually going to come a day where you say, man, I need somebody that I talk to that's not dealing with work. I just want to go play golf, right? And if you cut off all of your friends, your tea time is going to be by yourself. You know what I mean? So you need the people on your left and your right. And then you need people that are below you. Below you, not as in inferior. Below you as in, man, one day I got to be the person. I remember what I feel like right now, seeking the person above me. There's going to be somebody under me that I need to be able to pour my experiences into to keep this going, to pay it forward.

So what I would suggest is saying, man, hey, can you go find those three levels? Don't cut off all your friends on the left and right. Then, you know, unless they are influencing you to be a worse version of yourself, 100%, they got to go. But if they're just not in the same industry, you know, don't cut them off. Like, Hey, you're not sharpening me. You're not making me a better, you know, business owner because you know, you have a job and you're working for somebody else. It's like, yeah, bro. Like they work for IBM. That's okay. Yeah. They got a corporate career. Yeah. Like that's okay. But what you do need to find is somebody that's in your, in your lane and, you know, and ask them to be your mentor. You know, I had this person tell me who was a very successful lawyer back in the 60s, 70s and 80s. And it was so spectacular to me that we met in San Francisco. My mom used to babysit his kids and he just happened to be out there.

We were there like, hey, come out. You know, took us. I had swordfish for the first time. I remember being, I'm like, what is this? Like, this is crazy. You know, eating seafood that they just caught. I'm like, oh, this is different, you know, in San Francisco. And I just asked a lot of questions. I said, you know, Mr. Mack, what can I learn? You know, how can I get to where you've gotten me? He's living, you know, he had reached the point in his career where he retired and he and his wife lived for three months out of the year in Florida. And then for another month of the year, picked a new country that they haven't been to and then live there for another month. Like, that's how successful he was, you know. Must be nice. Yeah, exactly. So he clearly, like, again, hit a number that he never has to work again, never has to worry about a long, long, long time ago. But you know what the piece of advice that he told me, Joe, was he said,

Devontae, I want you to imagine that the person that you want to be is at the top of that skyscraper right there. He said, you need to figure out how to get to that office and offer who's ever sitting in that corner office up there to pay them to carry their briefcase everywhere that they go. I said, OK, why? He said, because you will gain more out of watching how they interact. If you have to pay them for it, what you're going to gain from watching them is more valuable than what you spent to be around them. If they are able to mentor you, you're able to see how they do business, able to handle conversations, able to say, able to just sit back and shut up and say, hey, listen, it's not my job to correct you. I'm just here to learn. I'll eat the fish and spit out the bones later. Like I'll take the good parts and spit out the bad parts later. But if I'm not around you, I don't get any fish. You know what I mean? And so what he was suggesting was find a mentor who's

doing what you're doing, who who's already where you want to be and then do everything you can to be around them to learn. That's what the idea was. It wasn't about practically, you know, setting a budget and you don't have any money as it is to go like spend money to carry their, you know, their briefcase. Nobody even has a briefcase anymore like that. So, you know, this is 2026 in the year of our Lord. So, you know, this is this is one of those. But the ideal was do anything you can to be around them, because there are people who have done this longer than you have already. And there's something you can learn. That's how you get sharpened. That's how you get in space. That's how you sit in the in the in the vehicle with the chauffeur when they're making the phone call and they're giving directions and they're having to save deals and having to, you know, have tough conversations with employees and tough conversations with their peers about a business that they're

not even involved with and, check in on their, you know, fidelity account, whatever it may be. You know, you learn those things by being around. And we've always said this, you know, we say it in parenting, too, because parenting is a part of community. It's more is caught than taught yeah, you know like you will get so much more from being around somebody than me putting it into a pdf, and saying hey do these seven things like you won't get to know the why you won't get to know the body language and the how you know so i just think that that idea for that new person whoever you you mentioned hypothetically the best thing you could do is not necessarily get rid of everybody again caveat unless they are causing you to live a life that is contrary to God's best. But it is to find and add. It's not necessarily taken away all the time. It's adding the right people who can give you that healthy friction. That's uncomfortable. That's saying, yeah, you want to meet me for, be a mentor?

Hey, I have breakfast at this spot every single Monday at 6 a.m. You can meet me there or not, but that's the only time I have available. It's like, gosh, bro, but that's an hour drive. It's like, okay, that's friction. Yeah, that's some friction. All right. Yeah. How bad do you want it? That's so good. Yeah. It's like speaking a language. I heard a TED Talk one time 10 years ago that was about we don't teach. I promise this will make sense. Yeah. We don't teach people, we don't teach kids how to play the piano the right way. They were like, if you think about it, we go to a lesson for 60 minutes a week and then if they don't perfectly play the notes, they get reprimanded. You're not doing it right. Okay. Whereas the way you learn a language is you're a two-year-old baby and you just sort of like babble and then you're just constantly surrounded by your parents. He's talking about parents as a word might have been of it.

And you kind of like, you just kind of are in that community and you're in the room, you know? And then you just slowly learn it. And your parents like, if I'm learning Chopin or Mozart or, you know, Claire Loon or something, if I don't play the notes perfectly, my teachers are going to be like, why didn't you play the notes perfectly? But if you're a two-year-old baby, and you don't say the words right, your parents are like, they're just so happy that you're starting to talk. You kind of just stumble into it, learning the language. And I think that applies here. It's the same idea, like the language of business. And I think of Mike Quinn, he's a leader in our company, who was a former business owner, And he came to basically be in one of the lowest positions in the company because he met Todd and he was like, okay, success leaves clues. How do I carry this guy's briefcase? And I don't care how long I have to do it for.

Because like eventually I'll speak the language that this guy speaks just by being in the room. But if you're in the room with all the... It's like, what does their life look like? Surround yourself with people that have the life that you want and you're going to start to see that whether biblically or just in their personal lives, they probably serve others really well. They probably care about other people a lot more than they care about their wants and needs and ambitions. And. Life probably looks a little bit different than yours does. And it kind of frictions you. So I'll get off my soapbox, but I just, I love that. You got to speak the language. That's so true. It's brilliant. You're inundated in the environment. It literally is the more it's caught. And, and I'll give you another scripture too, that, that helps this idea is from Ecclesiastes four. It says this in verse number nine, two are better than one because they have

a good return for their labor. Doesn't that sound like business language? Yeah. Okay. So let's bring it down. Okay. And then the next verse says this, if either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them. This is literally, so the idea is this community is always ROI positive. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's true. It's one plus one is three. You know, it's not exactly, exactly. It's not two because if I'm down and I'm by myself, who's going to tell me how to get up? Who's going to tell me how I fell? Who's going to tell me where I made the mistake. But if I have somebody beside me, I can say, man, like I fell down. They can help me get up. The recovery time is now faster. The lesson now is cemented more quickly. I learn where the pitfall or the obstacle was. And I learn how to avoid it again because I have another set of eyes. I can say, hey, hey, watch your step here.

Then don't step on that. Hey, watch that curb right there. You're going to trip, right? Or, hey, this is coming down the pipes with artificial intelligence. This is something I think you should jump on, right? These are things that help you cut time off of the process. Literally, that's business language. That's why I love the Bible. It literally applies to everything in life. Like it's a good return on their labor. It is always ROI positive. Let me give it another example for people out there like this. The most effective marketing in the world today is still word of mouth. Most effective yeah there are other methods that have a wider reach but as far as a better output we drive by billboards that we never pick up the phone and call or every single day like, but as far as having a return on its investment, word of mouth would you rather somebody hear about adams automotive the number one auto shop in the nation,

because of because of something on the computer that they just happened to stumble across or because somebody from their job told them, Hey man, I went over there and they like, they took care of me. Oh, for sure. Yeah. You see what I mean? Because that community, the community is always ROI positive. It's so much, it's not even close. It's so much more drastic than Google and looking. If you had no reviews and there was a person in somebody else's office that recommended Adams Automotive, the chances of them going from the person that recommended them is significantly higher because you get credibility by association. I like you. I like your car. You seem to be to have it all put together. I'm going to go where you go. You know, the credibility by association skyrockets. So literally Ecclesiastes is telling us community is ROI positive. It is a high return on your investment any day of the week, because now I get

to say, hey, since Joe, you matter to me, so does your recommendation. And so does your rebuke. So does your correction. So does your adjustment because you mean something to me. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think it's so ROI positive that it's like what you're getting at is like the return is so great if you make the right choices and you're in the right rooms. And it's so ROI negative too if you make the wrong decisions. You know, like if you want to be in the wrong rooms, like I know what your life's going to look like. And we tell people that like when they come into training, It's like, if you don't... If you just keep doing the exact same thing you've been doing for 10 years, guess what your life's going to look like in 10 years? Your life's going to look the exact same. But if you're... And it's marketing you know it's like we it's like look at like your life is the best marketing you know it's like uh you know look look what these people

in that room that you want to be in look what their lives looks like you know like, anyway so i'm on my soapbox a little bit here but for sure for sure having the data to prove like this lifestyle the work ethic the friction being around the right people that are going to push you towards the goal um yeah. And then seeing the outcome of that is certainly what we're striving for. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's so ROI positive that the same Jesus that we're reading about from the Bible changed the entire world with 12 people. Yeah, it's crazy. 12 people. When you think about it. You want to talk about word of mouth. Yeah, yeah. That's true. There's no iPhone. There's no computer. There's no Yelp. There's no Google review. It's literally just word of mouth. So man, I really hope, and the challenge for this week is number one, you know, specifically to the new person, or maybe it's another person that hasn't ever thought about this.

Maybe just, you know, feeling like, man, I've been doing this on my own and I don't want to trust anybody, et cetera, et cetera. My challenge this week is find a mentor. The right mentor saves you years of heartache, of pain, of money, of poor decisions, of, of bad partnerships, of bad initiatives, just wasting your time, your employees time, your peers' time, your marriage time. I mean, the right mentor literally cuts years off of the process because they can say, hey, make a left right here, not a right. And if you make a left, I promise you it'll save you 35 minutes on your commute. I made a right, it took me longer to get there, right? So that's what I wanna challenge people with this week to find a mentor that can help them get that healthy friction and then lean into it. Don't run away from the friction, just say, okay, like this is a part of the process. Yeah, and pay it forward. You said earlier, you were like, you also need to

have people that you're pouring into. And I think that that is like the definition of being a servant. It's like just giving something to somebody when you can't expect anything in return. So what do you think that looks like for people? Obviously, you want to be in the right room. You want to learn from people that are at the place where you want to go. But also, you don't want to just leave all your friends in the dirt. You want to be able to influence whatever community you came from or the people in your circle. So what do you think that looks like for people finding not only a mentor, but becoming a mentor? Yeah. Exercise. Yeah. I think that's what the cool thing that you can do. Number one is start with the people on your left and right. I think sometimes people hear mentor and automatically think age, right? It's like, oh, I need somebody that's 40 years older than me, 20 years older than me. But I think anybody can be a mentor that has accomplished more or that has gone

further than somebody like that. You can be a mentor in business and mentor peers that are three years younger than you, you know, two years younger than you, five years younger than you. There are people on your left and right that just don't have the experiences that you have. They don't have the success that you've had, but everybody can't relate to your success. What they can relate to is your failure. Everybody's failed, right? Not everybody has, has had, you know, a business takeoff and scale and all of this, but what they have is try something and forgot to file paperwork on it at a certain time and, you know, didn't get, the name trademarked and, oh, I need to send these documents to the secretary of state in 30 days or we're going to have to, you know, like, it's like these things, these are real failures that people can point to and say, hey, man, like, You start off by asking a question and say, man, I have accomplished some things.

There's some people around me. You say, hey, what do you have in your heart? Because number one, it says that I don't need you to do what I do for me to be your mentor. And I can just offer you success. I can serve you in a way that says, man, whatever God, whatever dream God has placed in your heart. Let's go ahead and see how we can cultivate that with some of the steps that I've learned in my lane. I'm not saying you got to run in my lane. But there are some things I learned from my lane that can help you get started in yours. So it may be people that you're around. This is why I said, don't cut off everybody that you're around. You're going to need to play golf with somebody. And maybe when you're on the cart and you're riding the whole seven, you say, man, what's in your heart? What do you feel like? What's your dream? What does the dream life for you look like? Say, hey, if you wouldn't mind, you don't have to have the title.

Just say, hey, if you wouldn't mind, can I share some things that I've learned that could help you get to that point? And then next thing you know, You're serving people by pouring it out. You're becoming a mentor even without the title. Yeah, I mean, never burn a bridge. I don't think I've burned many bridges in my life, but it's like the real hack is just you're never doing things or trying to get in the room in a self-serving way. You're just trying to like, man, what can I do to pour into other people and give? I think that's the point of life and Christianity is like to give to other people in ways that aren't just financial, you know. And then whenever that happens, you tend to be the type of person who ends up in a room full of like opportunity because you're constantly. It's like word of mouth, you know, it's like your reputation. My dad says this all the time. He's like, your name is the most important thing.

You know, it says that in Proverbs, like a good reputation is better than silver and gold. Because like because if you're the person if you're the guy or gal that everybody knows like man that person will take their shirt off their back um to serve just to just be there when you need them uh then you kind of create these opportunities for yourself. Uh where you are in the room more often than uh you anticipated so awesome man well as we wrap up like what are some you got anything else for us or any actionable takeaways that people can do this week, Yeah. Yeah. So find a mentor, number one, and, you know, see how maybe practically that looks like getting on Google yourself or Yelp yourself or asking around, in the industry that you're interested in being in. And then trying to find the person that's at the highest position that you can get to. You know, you may not get with a CEO and get their time and,

you know, but it may be a COO. It may be a CFO. Somebody's got some experience somewhere. And then say, hey, can I just learn? You know, I would love to take you to lunch. Offer to take them to lunch. Don't like set it up and then make them pay. Like, that's crazy. But but seriously, like offer to take them to lunch, offer to, you know, pay for something so that you can get some moment, some dedicated time with them. And you can do that this week. And for the, you know, low cost of, you know, maybe 100 bucks on a lunch, like you may gain something that will change the rest of your life. And do the same thing for somebody that's on your left and right that you say, man, I know that this is in their heart. I would love to be a part of their journey and help them go. Not because I need anything, not because I need a percentage, not because I need credit when they make it. Just because God has been good to me, I want to be good to others.

Amen. All right. Well, man, this has been episode three of Autoshop Ministries, presented by Autoshop Answers. Devante, you want to pray us out? Yeah, absolutely. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for everybody listening. God, I just thank you that you have a plan for their life and a purpose. God, I pray that as they continue to lean into the friction, God, that they would pick the right partnerships. God, that you would open the right doors for relationships, people, mentors, people that they need to mentor and the right peers, God, that keep them on the right track. I pray that the rooms would be open and that you will bless them this week. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Well, man, thank you so much, Devante. Happy Sunday to everyone listening to this, and let's go have a great week. We'll see y'all next week. For more information, reach out to Todd Westerlin at 925-980-8012 or visit autoshopanswers.com.

You can get more information about Key to Key to Callbacks, Courtside. We have a VIP Rack Attack Day where you spend an entire day in the trenches with our team learning this perfected business model. We offer leadership classes. We have an AI academy and also get more information about auto shop callbacks. We have auto tech training. We are literally your one-stop shop. Once again, that number for Todd Westerland is 925-980-8012.